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Lost in translation

7. října 2005 v 15:37 | vsp |  Humor
In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel: The lift is being fixed for
the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In an Athens hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.

In a Leipzig hotel lift: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Paris hotel lift: Please leave your values at
the front desk.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

Outside a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Sign outside a shop in Merida, Mexico: Broken English spoken fluently.

On a Polish hotel menu: Salad a firm's own make: limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger, roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Belgrade hotel lift: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing-floor. Driving is not then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Russian hotel: If this hot is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Yugoslav hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Moscow hotel opposite Russian orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.

In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

From the brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Japanese information booklet about hotel air-conditioner: Cooles and Heates. If you just want condition of warm, please control yourself.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summer suit. Because of big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

o Englishe well speaking.

o Here speeching American.


Outside a Hong Kong tailor's shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

From a Soviet weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors.These were executed over the past two years.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden in our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of
our horse-driven city tours, we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

Gerard Hoffnung, allegedly from French hotel brochure: There are French widows in every bedroom, affording astounding prospects."

Sign in a Japanese hotel: Sports jackets may be worn but no trousers.

Sign in Egyptian hotel: If you require room service, please open door and shout, "ROOM SERVICE!"
 

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Komentáře

1 Vita Vita | E-mail | Web | 9. října 2005 v 11:57 | Reagovat

Nice... :-)

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